Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
please don't ironically join a cult
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