Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
