The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
