so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize
