i just wanna soil my oats bro
I think I am morally bankrupt
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
