Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Ketchup is God's man juice
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize