They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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