im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
