Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
