Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
