john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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