My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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