dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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