this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
