If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize