It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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