Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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