all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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