your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
