I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
