okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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