i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
