I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
