hotel room ftw
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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