Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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