Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
hell yes lets make some ravioli
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
