It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
