Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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