He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
vagina is talking i cant
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
