Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
