I looked at my own cervix.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
