is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
