tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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