just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
