Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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