I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
My vagina is very pro this idea
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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