Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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