It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize