my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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