I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
