Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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