Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Randomize
