I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
