Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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