Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
