Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I don't deserve a penis
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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