yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
