Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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