you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
