do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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