I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
