Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
