Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
