will power is for people who don't want to get laid
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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