whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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