I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
