You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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