Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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