You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
