I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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