is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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