White coat. Heels.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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