): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
