If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
