how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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