TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
