"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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