sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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