Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
