Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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