He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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