you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
